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🚨 DC mixed-asians / wasians / blasians / allies… this is your FINAL WARNING. 👀 👀 Additional warnings may be issued. 🚨
We’re meeting at the Constitution Gardens for a picnic because apparently someone said “we should hang out” and now we all have to face the consequences in real life 🙄
Bring a blanket 🧺 or don’t (you will regret it when you’re sitting on grass suboptimally rethinking life choices), and an umbrella ☂️ because it might get hot.
𝗧𝗵𝗶𝘀 𝗶𝘀 𝗮 𝗽𝗼𝘁𝗹𝘂𝗰𝗸! Bring food that feels culturally connected to you 🍜🍚, or don’t and just stand there holding chips like “this represents my ancestral lineage”. Also bring water!
𝗟𝗶𝘃𝗲 𝗺𝘂𝘀𝗶𝗰 𝗪𝗜𝗟𝗟 𝗯𝗲 𝗵𝗮𝗽𝗽𝗲𝗻𝗶𝗻𝗴! 🎶
Laufey, Wasia Project, and other songs that induce staring into the distance like you’re in a coming-of-age movie you didn’t audition for.
If you have an instrument, 🎸🎻 this is your moment. If you don’t, your voice counts unfortunately.
𝗠𝗲𝗲𝘁𝗶𝗻𝗴 𝗟𝗼𝗰𝗮𝘁𝗶𝗼𝗻 (don’t give me the excuse that you were late because I didn’t tell you where to meet 😠)
• Constitution Gardens (National Mall), on the grassy area next to the small lake on the Constitution Ave side, near the Washington Monument.
𝗔𝗴𝗲𝗻𝗱𝗮 (strictly enforced by no one):
• meet new people (participation may result in unintended friendship acquisition)
• picnic era 🌸
• someone says “wait we should do this monthly”, but then doesn’t offer to help me organize 🙄
• group pics 📸 (mandatory documentation of social bonding)
• spontaneous jam session that starts normal and becomes emotionally intense for no reason
• games (volleyball, frisbee, and whatever object becomes a “game” when thrown incorrectly)
• good vibes only (existentialism is acceptable if it’s in a cute way) ✨
Everyone is welcome, you do NOT have to be mixed to come! 🤗
If you read this far, you are legally obligated to consider coming. I better see you there… or else (this is a joke, but also I WILL notice).
